my competitive side came out tonight...

(originally drafted on Jan 18, 2010) 
Is it wrong to be only slightly happy for someone getting their best time at swimming when it meant they beat you for the first time ever? I feel conflicted. One of the other participants in my swimming class has always been quite a bit slower than all the rest of us. He's out trying his hardest and that's great in itself. I'm not trying to sound pompous or 'better' than him, but you kind of get used to the person that always needs their own half of the lane because they're slower.

Well, tonight I was paired up with him for our beginning of the winter session time-trials (serves me right since I haven't swam in over a month!). The first 3 x 100m sets I beat him no problem, even though I was clocking in at some of my worst times yet. (At this point I'm just blaming everything on my planters wart...) Then we had 3 x 50m sets. The second 50m he decides to literally give it his all and beat me by 4 or 5 seconds! I couldn't believe it. I saw him pull ahead and I didn't have an ounce of umph left to even catch up... Maybe I was slacking because he hadn't been that much of a challenge.

Our coach was so excited for him, understandably, and he was excited, as I would have been if it had been me! - but I could barely muster a 'great job'. Is that bad? I was feeling so defeated - but I tell ya, I was hell-bent on whopping his butt on our last 50m sprint!! I guess that's the up side to competition, it's the driving force behind improvement. I'm happy to report our last 50m sprint I was able to beat my fellow swimmer, and he even did BETTER than his time before! That time I was full of praise for him and secretly smiling for me.

oh for the love of sugar!

I've been trying to cut out sugar for years, on the advice of my ND (and my own common sense - if you saw my daily intake, you would wonder how I still have teeth...). This year I've gotten off to a pretty good start, thanks to the all-natural, calorie-free Stevia sweetener. If you've never heard of it, you're not alone. I hadn't heard of it before either.

Now, there are quite a few options out there, surprisingly enough, and like anything new to your palette, they can take a bit of getting used to. (Have you ever tried switching to soy milk?) Hence the reason I've been so slow to kick the sugar addiction... But I'm happy to report I found a fabulous Stevia sweetener and have even been using it in my Timmy's tea! It's called French Vanilla Stevia Extract Blend by Herbal Select (it has natural french vanilla flavour). It comes in convenient packets equivalent to 2 tsp. of sugar (perfect since that's how much I used to add to my tea) and I can carry them in my purse.

trying to understand...

Today I was thinking about how my clothes don't fit me well and what I'm going to do about it. Then I started thinking - how come some people get seriously obese? I started wondering what is the thought process that prevents them from making changes to prevent further weight gain? Just trying to understand. Everyone must notice when their clothes don't fit, even if they never step on a scale. Maybe if those initial thoughts, whatever they may or may not be, were recorded, captured in some way, when people are young, perhaps that could be the beginning of a true fight against this seemingly overwhelming epidemic of obesity. I know when I gain weight, like recently, and all my clothes stop fitting, or become too tight, I look to see what I need to change and do something about it. It takes me 15-20lbs of gain before I do, but I still do something before it gets out of control.

Why do some people do like I do and change, albeit begrudgingly; and what stops, or doesn't 'trigger' for others? Is it a natural part of each person's development, or are there experiential factors at play? Can it really be just pure laziness, as so many people assume when they view an obese person? (Admit it, you've thought it, even if you're overweight, too!)